


The boy in the bubble

by Phantomxlegend



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Bottling emotions, Descriptions of a Panic Attack, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kayla is a good sister, M/M, Maybe OOC, Will Needs a Hug, Will centric, breakdowns, cecil is a good friend, depressive topics, i think, nico comforts will, this is heavy on the angst side, unhealthy coping mechanism, will angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:06:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26458417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantomxlegend/pseuds/Phantomxlegend
Summary: Three times Will bottled up his emotions and the one time that he couldn’t.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 8
Kudos: 117





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Does this have emotion to it? Idk I’m too tired to actually feel emotion. My mental state is fragile. This is probably crap idk. Enjoy. 
> 
> Trigger warning some kinda depressive topics and like really unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Will would consider one of his skills to be silently crying. It was something he had learned over the years of sleeping in a cabin with several other people that he would rather die than wake up when he was crying.

But now he often slept in the same bed as Nico. Which proved some difficulty when he had had a particularly bad day and needed to be alone. He couldn’t really be in his own cabin, nor could he go to the Hades cabin.

So he hid in the infirmary.

No one bothered him about why he was in there, and usually no one would come in at night unless someone was looking for him. Which was a rare occurrence. 

Plus there was always something that he could do to keep his mind off of whatever had gone wrong. To keep his mind busy.

Paperwork would always eventually stack up, so he’d do that. Sometimes the cabinets would need to be restocked, it was something to do. Even when there was nothing he would make sure the medical records were tidy, twice, three times, four times. Making sure things are in perfect order.

It was just a way to distract himself. No one needed to know. 

As far as everyone else was concerned, he was fine. He just liked to make sure things were in proper condition and that everything was ready for the next day. People would settle for that answer. It was better than “yeah, I’m kinda falling apart so I need something to distract myself from the slowly deteriorating thread that’s trying to keep my mental health together.”

His siblings and Nico were really the only ones that actually cared about how much he was working. Sometimes even Lou Ellen or Cecil.

“Will,” Kayla pushed open the door to the infirmary, she rubbed her eyes and yawned groggily, “what in the name of Olympus are you doing here at three in the morning?”

“Why are  _ you  _ up?” Will said, barely glancing up from the paperwork he wasn’t even registering anymore. 

“I got up to go to the  _ bathroom _ . And I found you missing,” she explained, leaning up against the doorframe, “your turn. Why the Hades are you up?”

“Because…” Will blanched,  _ because I had a nightmare. Because I was thinking about Michael and Lee. Because I was judging my own worth in terms that no one else would dare to use out loud in fear of Nico’s wrath. _

“Usually the ‘because’ is followed by a reason,” Kayla crossed her arms in front of her chest, looking Will up and down, “look, Will. I know you’re stressed. I can see it all over your face. But you can’t keep working like this, how many times do I have to tell you?”

“I’m fine Kayla, I’m just finishing up,” Will waved his hand dismissively. 

She obviously saw right through his lie.

“You seem to be nice and prepared to be working all night,” Kayla gestured to the stack of papers on the desk. Will blinked, he had completely forgotten about those.

“No, that was just... What still had to be done…” Will clicked his pen, “I was measuring how much there would be left.”

“You’re going to bed,” Kayla said firmly, “I’m not taking no for an answer. You’re pushing yourself too hard. You’re going to get hurt like this.”

_ I know that.  _ Will wanted to say.  _ The nightmares are constant and I can’t ever sleep. But if I told someone about it, I’d just be a bother to them. So what does it matter if I’m up all night working? _

But he didn’t say any of that. He only hung his head and muttered “sorry.”

Kayla’s expression softened, she sighed and relaxed her shoulders, “don’t apologize, just come to bed.” 

“Okay…” 

He wanted the nightmares to stop, he’d do anything from seeing his dead brother’s faces every night. All the patients he couldn’t save. But he didn’t want to worry Kayla.

She made sure all the lights were turned off and dragged Will back to the Apollo cabin. She didn’t even get back in bed until she had seen Will climb under the covers and lay down. Austin slept through the entire exchange.

Will stared at the ceiling for a long time dreading when he would fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [insert some comment about the writing process that I went through here] please enjoy. 
> 
> Trigger warning: depressive topics, please let me know if I need to tag anything else or adjust the rating.

He had lost two patients the day before. There was some sort of monster attack. A satyr came with two new campers, they were being followed by a large beast.

A lot of campers got injured trying to kill it. Nico ended up being the one to deal the final blow. 

Two campers died. The ones the satyr was guarding survived. Will couldn’t even bring himself to celebrate that. They were claimed that dinner. A daughter of Hermes and a son of Athena. 

Will was able to heal the other campers that had gotten injured. But what happened with the other two? What had gone wrong? He failed. He shouldn’t have failed.

As a doctor you can’t afford to fail, you have to keep people alive and fix their injuries. Will couldn’t even do that.

They didn’t seem that badly injured. There must have been something going on internally. He should have checked to make sure. He was sluggish, a fool. A failure. 

Everyone else made it out okay. Why not them?

“...Will?” 

It was two Ares campers. They charged the monster first. Nico made sure that they got the proper funeral that they deserved. It didn’t make it any better. He swore that he could feel Clarisse glaring at him, if not her… someone. They shouldn’t have even needed funerals. If Will had done his job better, they would still be alive.

“Hey, earth to William.”

A hand resting on his arm caused Will to jump.

“What? Sorry,” Will muttered out of reflex. Cecil stared at him with a concerned expression.

“Are you… are you okay dude?” Cecil asked, laughing awkwardly, “you kinda spaced out there.”

“Sorry, yeah I’m fine,” Will agreed, he rubbed his eyes, glad that there weren’t any tears.

“How much sleep did you get last night?” Cecil pressed his hands to his hips, “people who got normal amounts of sleep don’t usually space out like that mid conversation.”

“I got…” Will couldn’t even think of a number that would make a convincing lie, “enough…”

“Enough?” Cecil obviously didn’t believe him, “are you sure?”

Will just blinked, wishing that the tiredness would go away. But to do that he had to go to sleep. And he didn’t really like the idea of what would take place in his subconscious.

Two campers had died under his care.

“Yeah…” Will swallowed back a sob, “of course.”

“You seem kinda rough around the edges today,” Cecil obviously knew that something was wrong. He was at the funeral as well. The whole camp knew people had died yesterday. No one pressed Will about it, and he didn’t think Cecil would either.

“Really, I’m fine,” Will forced a laugh, he thought it sounded pretty convincing.

“If you say so…” Cecil rubbed the back of his neck, “just don’t space out like that again. It’s kinda scary when you do.”

“Won’t happen again,” Will promised, even though he couldn’t really promise anything. Who knew what would happen again. Someone else might die. He would probably space out again.

He was just too tired to care.

Cecil was still looking at him concerned. What was there left to say? Will wasn’t going to tell any more about it. Cecil probably wouldn’t ask any questions.

Cecil went back to what he was talking about before. He was talking slower now, watching Will cautiously. He was worried but what was Will supposed to do about that? There’s nothing he could do.

People were worrying about him for no reason. He was fine.

That’s all he had to do, just keep telling himself that.

_ I’m fine. _

Eventually it’ll be true. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m very tired 
> 
> Trigger warnings: depressive themes, name callings? Violence?

Will cried easily. And he hated it. Every small inconvenience would make him tear up or want to cry.

The kids at school used to bully him for it. Of course they would. An 11 year old who still cries when he couldn’t figure something out.

That habit continued into his teenage years. The only difference is usually people didn’t pick on him, when they did there were several people there to fight back.

Will didn’t like violence. Of course, from a doctor’s perspective, violence just meant more work for him. He’d rather avoid it whenever he had the chance.

Violence just happened to find him. The area campers were always violent towards him. Even Clarisse who would never intend to hurt him, ended up being a bit rough sometimes. 

“Why can’t you just do your job properly as a healer,” the kid shouted, his words soaked deep into Will’s skin like monster venom. He already knew what was going to happen from this.

“There will always end up being some people that—“ Will didn’t know what he was saying. Why was he defending himself? He always told himself the same thing grieving family members would shout.

“You have one job, only  _ one _ . Since that just happens to be the only thing you’re actually good at.” The kid had cornered Will behind the Hades cabin as Will was walking by. Will frowned, trying to blink back his tears.

“You’re a child of Apollo,” he jabbed a finger in Will’s chest, “you’re supposed to be a good healer. You’re supposed to be able to shoot a bow and arrow. Play music. Actually do something good for once.”

Will knew this would be coming eventually. It always did after a camper died. Usually from the Ares cabin. 

“I know that you’re upset.” Will held his hands up in front of himself defensively, trying to slowly back away from the situation, “really. I understand what you’re going through. But I tried as best I could. There was nothing else I could’ve done.”

Will’s heart was racing. He was blatantly lying and it was only a matter of time before someone called him out on it. There was so much more he could’ve done for the campers if he wasn’t so stupid. He overlooked the ones in the most serious condition. He should know by now about internal injuries.

The kid in front of him furrowed his eyebrows. He didn’t seem to be liking what Will had told him.

“Yeah, you know all what I’m talking about. All because you couldn’t save your own brothers.”

Will winced.

“You think you know what it’s like. Sure, you know how you failed the people closest to you. And now you’ve failed more people. You killed my brothers. You’re supposed to heal people.”

“I know, I swear that If there was anything else that I could’ve done… they would—“

Will heard the crack long before he felt it. The kid had lashed out. Punching Will hard in the face. Will reeled back, blinking for a few seconds before the pain even registered. He brought his hand up to his cheek which was starting to swell. He only saw black spots in his left eye.

Before Will could even blink again, the kid had bolted. Will choked back his tears, a small whimper escaping his throat.

He had held on for this long, he wasn’t going to lose his composure over a stupid fight like that. He didn’t even know the kids name, so he meant nothing to Will. 

But the kid’s words still rung in Will's head. It was starting to become overwhelmingly loud.

“Will! What happened to you?” Nico jumped up from bed as Will trudged into the Hades cabin. Will hadn’t even thought about stopping at the infirmary. Nothing seemed broken so he must’ve been fine.

“What…” 

“Who do I need to kill?” Nico growled, anger burning in his eyes, “your cheek.”

“A kid punched me…” Will swallowed thickly, he didn’t like the way that Nico was looking at him, with concern and misdirected anger. “I’m fine.”

“Who did it?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter!” Nico furrowed his eyebrows, “I need to know who had the audacity to punch you hard enough for it to swell.”

Will put his hand on Nico’s shoulder, his brain was beginning to shut down all coherent thoughts and reasonable action but he knew he had to calm his boyfriend down, “please… don’t worry about it.”

“Did you at least go to the infirmary? You should get ice for it.”

Will shook his head, fatigue weighing in his bones.

“I’ll get an ice pack from the infirmary.”

Maybe Nico senses that Will wanted to be alone. Or maybe he was just being a loving boyfriend. But Nico was gone for a good fifteen minutes. It was long enough for Will to lay down in Nico’s bed and let a few tears slip.

His face was still swollen by dinner. Kayla and Austin had a fit about it. Will never said who did it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. My hand is going numb.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter and god I’m so tired. Two breakdowns in one night does that to you.
> 
> Trigger warning: depictions of a panic/anxiety attack. Mental breakdown. Depressive themes

Will had a limit to how long he could hold in his panic. Right now was not the most convenient time and he didn’t know how long he would be able to last. He just needed to find a time that he could discreetly sneak away from the crowd.

Swallowing the breakdown that he knew was coming became harder and harder as the voices around the campfire became louder.

“Will,” Nico touched his arm softly, maybe he could tell.

“Yeah?” His voice was pinched with badly hidden fear. Was he shaking? Will felt like he was shaking but he couldn’t see it. That one word took a huge chunk of effort, just to make it sound decent.

“Are you okay?” Nico still didn’t move his hand, his fingertips were soft and comforting. But the voices around were overwhelming. They did nothing to help combat the racing thoughts in his head.

Will realized that he had hesitated too long to answer the question. It would be suspicious now to answer with a lie. But he went with it anyway.

“Yeah…” he licked his lips, “yeah um… yeah I’m fine…” 

Nico looked around the campfire. Will was definitely shaking, he wasn’t just imaging that. He could see his hands shaking as he clutched his jeans.

“Why don’t we head back to my cabin,” Nico suggested, he could tell, Will knew he could tell, “this is getting kinda boring anyway. And all this noise is giving me a headache.”

Will couldn’t muster the energy to mask his speech. So he just nodded.

No one questioned them as they left. Will had to tell himself to step every single time. His body wasn’t responding automatically like it usually would. His heart was racing faster.

Nico held his hand even though his palms were sweaty and gross by now. Nico didn’t say anything about that. Thankfully, Will didn’t think he would be able to convince his boyfriend that he was okay.

Nico already knew, Nico always was good at knowing those kinds of things. He was observant. No one else looked as closely as he did.

“Are you okay?” Nico asked again, once they were safely in the confines of the Hades cabin. Will squeezes his eyes shut.

“No.”

His voice cracked, that was the first time he had admitted it outloud. No, he wasn’t okay.

“Do you want me to get you some water?” Nico spoke softly, helping Will sit down on the edge of the bed.

Will was taking shaky breaths, it was like his lungs shrunk in the past few minutes. 

“No,” he croaked.

Nico nodded and sat next to him, “do you want to hold my hand?” Nico offered Will his hand calmly. Will hesitated before taking it.

“I don’t… this is…” Will was struggling to form any sort of sentence, he was stuttering and choking on his own words.

The tears came next. Rolling down his cheeks in waves, collecting in a pool in his lap.

“You’re going to be okay,” Nico said, “it’s gonna pass and you’re going to be fine.”

Will nodded even though he didn’t really believe him. Too many things were going on in his brain. Too many things had been piled up. 

_ This is the end _ . He thought.

“Will, what color are your shoes?” Nico asked calmly.

Will opened his eyes (when had he shut them) and looked over at Nico confused. He could barely see Nico through the tears.

“What…?” He squeezes Nico’s hand.

“What color are your shoes?” Nico repeated. Will tried to remember. There were so many shoes that he had seen. There were so many colors that he knew, none of they made any sense. 

Will realized that he was wearing his shoes still, “blue…”

Nico nodded, rubbing his thumb over Will’s knuckle, “take a deep breath with me.”

Will doubted that he could do it but the pleading look in Nico’s eyes made him agree.

Nico tapped his finger to count out the seconds, Will barely followed. His breaths were short and erratic. He didn’t understand how he was ever able to take short breaths before. 

Nico was patient though. Will let out a low sob, wanting to bury his face in his hands but he didn’t want to let go of Nico’s. 

“You’re okay,” Nico said.

Neither of them could tell how much time had passed, but the voices in the distance had quieted down a significant amount. It didn’t do much to quiet the voices in Will’s head.

Nico was muttering reassurances and tapping out times to breathe with. Will couldn’t help but listen to what he was saying. Nico has a nice voice, maybe that’s why Will could listen without problem.

It was surprising to Will that Nico was still even here. Why would he want to stay when Will very obviously is a mess. When he’s very obviously  _ not okay _ .

The energy drained from Will faster than any other time. His breaths were able to come smoothly. Nico was still here with him. All Will wanted to do was sleep.

“We need to talk about this in the morning,” Nico said, brushing Will’s bangs out of his face, which were plastered to his forehead with sweat. Tiredly, Will nodded, not really knowing what he was agreeing to.

“Go to bed.”

Will couldn’t argue with that logic. He was out like light before he could even get under the covers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might add another chapter of in the morning but that’s comfort and I can’t do that rn. I can’t feel emotions. Or I might delete this in the morning. Depends on how I feel about it. Thanks for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> A multi chapter fic. That I wrote all in one night? Of questionable quality because I literally can’t tell. Sure. I literally wasn’t gonna post this because Idk but I spent too much work on it. It’s almost 2 am


End file.
